Self Confidence And Self Esteem Homepage

Question: Low self confidence and self esteem? how do i regain these?

(Posted by: Karina on 2009-10-26 04:37:07)

For the last few days I've been suffering mentally over a disappointment with a guy. We met 2 months ago, were together but I had to leave his country to come back home (I was on vacation & he's a friend of a friend of mine). We'd been mailing/ chatting....nothing serious but I like him. I booked a ticket to come see him as he had to go back to Uni...seems to me that now I'm coming he's backing off and I'm just in shock. I'm not a teen, I'm in my 40s (luckily look 32 & all tell me this). I'm in good shape but single for a few years after long term break up. I feel my confidence on the floor...really depressed. I don't want to go out. How do I drag myself up?

Posted by: Froto on 2009-10-28, 22:31:25

One of the best things you can do when in a situation such as yours is start small. You are not going to climb out of a rut by expecting yourself to overcome everything at once. Try and do things that you like to do. Celebrate your accomplishments no matter what they are. Look yourself in the mirror and tell yourself "I am pretty, and I am intelligent. " Nobody is perfect, but the biggest difference between you and other people is that they are confident in themselves. I know that if you learn to believe in yourself, it will turn your life around. You ARE a wonderful person and human being, you just have to believe it. But remember not to force yourself on the guy. If you tell him exactly how you feel then he will have two options: Confirm that he doesn't like you, or tell you that he likes you. If you really care about him then try and ease into this situation gradually (at the right time). If the guy continues to back off and doesn't give you a chance then you will know that either he is not interested or he has a girlfriend. (Sorry, the first paragraph was about the self esteem, it will be vital to the second paragraph. Only take from it what you think applies to you.)

Posted by: ally102002__ on 2009-10-26, 04:44:33

Try getting a hobby that involves people. helps to make new friends

Posted by: monica on 2009-10-26, 04:58:26

Byron Katie's worksheets are really good - they might be worth a try! xxx

Posted by: Kathryn B on 2009-10-26, 08:12:45

I dealt with self esteem issues most of my life which was partly due to being adopted and partly from being bullied. I grew up thinking I was unattractive. Last year I found my bio parents and finally felt I'd found myself. I forced myself to really take a hard look at me- both inside and outside. I discovered I was attractive (which people had been trying to tell me for years) and a good, fun, personable person. Have you asked me why he backed off? Maybe it was easier to keep the relationship going bc you weren't here. My best recommendation is to join a social network site that will get you out of the house. Not a dating service but one that has local activities with others who have the same interest as you. I joined one for moms after not having friends since moving 3 years ago. Now I am making great friends and getting out of the house to do a slew of amazing activities. I wish you the best of luck!