Self Confidence And Self Esteem Homepage

Question: What is the best way to build self confidence and self esteem?

(Posted by: SONG on 2007-05-15 07:10:57)

I've heard all of the techniques about repeating positive things about yourself, .... to yourself. I need something stronger and more lasting over time. I've also had my problems with life.I've been losing on all fronts, and when I take a stand for myself I always seem to end up standing alone without any support. Along with this I am finding it harder and harder to follow through with things, once they get difficult. It seems to be a vicious downward circle. These have been results not beliefs. I need to be able to stop the madness. I have confidence, but what I need is unshakable confidence to build towards a win. It's been 5 years since I've had one, I 'm coming closer and closer to just giving up on life. Any suggestions?

Posted by: joyce on 2007-05-15, 07:14:11

Look in the mirror. Smile a lot. Tell yourself that you are all of that.

Posted by: pathfinder on 2007-05-15, 07:14:59

By motivating yourself into thinking that if you live in a shell, you will not amount to anything in life. You have to convince yourself that enen if you fail at things, you can always improve through your mistakes.

Posted by: Wolfithius on 2007-05-15, 07:15:09

You should take a look around and make sure that you are spending time with positive people who will support, encourage and mentor you. In fact, finding a person who can be there as a sounding board who is positive and a good listener is very helpful. Personally, I find that if I think about my decision-making with an eye toward what I want a year or five years from now that is clarifies my motivation.

Posted by: Whitney M. on 2007-05-15, 07:15:43

Find something you are great at, either a sport or a hobby. When you are good at something people will notice and you will get compimented and that should raise your spirits and confidence. Remember that to be good at something you need to work hard, so believe yourself while you go through that step!

Posted by: gene on 2007-05-15, 07:15:58

Do something where you're good at and enhance it.You'll enjoy even more and find some real and interesting friends along the way..

Posted by: Josh H on 2007-05-15, 07:16:31

Tell yourself positive stuff bout you.

Posted by: h4ckjack on 2007-05-15, 07:16:50

Giving up on life? Problems? Hell! Get aggressive! On the bad guys thou! Best thing for you and for the other! Also try and keep in mind the fact that if you're alive it's because you've been given an opportunity to demonstrate your willpower and skills. Don't think that other people do better! Actually most of the successful people do less than the hard working, but poor people. It's all about luck! But if luck cheats you then work even harder! Your body and spirit can stand anything! Just go for it! NEVER FORGET THE LIFE IS FOR THE LIVING!

Posted by: pamppx3 on 2007-05-15, 07:17:27

When i feel this alone in the world...which i think is very normal ...i like to do things for other people ....helping others even in the smallest way helps me to feel better...karma will pay off...bring good things to others....bring good things to yourself............

Posted by: bluerthanblue 2 on 2007-05-15, 07:17:28

Believe in yourself!!! trust God, God made all things possible!!just pray and have faith in God.

Posted by: kasscabel on 2007-05-15, 07:19:03

Get on a natural medicine to help with these feelings...no side effects,and reasonably priced. Just remember, every body has their ups and downs, but it really will get better. check out the link below for more info.

Posted by: megan v on 2007-05-15, 07:21:19

When I am feeling down, I like to people watch; at the airport or mall. Seeing some people just reinforces that it could be worse. You could be disabled/ unhealthy, struggling with money, or many other things. Sometimes a visual of how things could be worse helps...

Posted by: CLICKHEREx on 2007-05-15, 07:30:22

Practise daily one of the 5 meditation techniques at ezy-build.net/ ~shaneris on page 2, and note the part about volunteering and the tips at the mental-health-abc & conquering stress sites. Go to more-selfesteem.com and check it out, including self confidence. These should help, but therapy is a last alternative (see page 1 of ezy-build).

Posted by: KATHY A W on 2007-05-15, 08:11:53

First thing is, you have got to like who you are ,really love yourself, but not to the point that makes you full of yourself,you heed to be endependent,have friends that trust what you say ,and believe in you as a good person,if you are standing alone its because ,you are not strong enough in what you are standing up for,if you have good friends they will stand beside you if you convience them that they can believe whole heartedly,,remember (WHAT YOU GIVE IS WHAT YOU GET) try showing the true you ,dont try being what other people whant,,just be your self,because what you present to people ,is how other people precieve you! figure out who you are!!! then present that person to the world &if your not perfect!!! SO WHAT!!! you can only be you, &if some people dont like you ,then you dont need to care ,as long as you like you ,it dont matter if not everyone likes you as much as you like your self,confidence is about being OK with you,and being the best person you can be,look , digg way down deep inside yourself and ,look at the things about you that you dont like and if you just change 1 thing you will feel more confident ,dont try to change more than one thing at a time ,it dont work that way ,1 thind you could change,just for an example,if you are a tade bit over weight ,and that really gives you a complex, &makes you unhappy ,change it ,or maybe like me i dont like my teeth ,they were really off white ,i thought it made me ugly i didnt feel good about myself,so im changing that by whittening my teeth ,i get so mant complements ,that makes me have more confidence ,it only takes one person to tell you ,hey you look great ect, not only cosmetic changes ,internal things that annoy you and other people, im not about being superfishel,im about being real &the best i can be and becoming happy with that ,i am very opinionated,some people dont like that ,i dont care!!! as long as i know i am stating the truth ,im not going to agree to a lie ,that is anouther thing never LIE TO YOUR SELF!! ,If you cant be honest with you, how can you be ,with any one else,if you truly need confidence and self asteem , you have to look to yourself ,inside yourself ,love yourself ,trust yourself,be honest with yourself,find your weak points ,and work on improving 1 thing at a time,if your not satisfied with the out come ,try again,people dont make YOU,YOU MAKE YOU !!!! SO GET TO IT !!! I BELIEVE IN YOU!!!!!! GOOD LUCK &GOD BLESS. KATHY A

Posted by: Chocolate kiss on 2007-05-15, 09:40:44

Low self-esteem is depressing... I think the best thing to do is to keep yourself busy with projects or activities that can trigger positivity like helping the needy, helping the people around you and so on. Bringing happiness to others can also bring happiness to yourself as well as confidence. Hope this helps!

Posted by: mark m on 2007-05-15, 11:02:22

What's worked for me is trying stuff I've always been afraid of trying. Do stuff for fun rather than competition or to win. Try new things. Something as simple as reading a book you've never read. Or going bowling or shooting hoops with the guys even if you suck at it. It also helps to surround yourself with positive people. People who're just fun to be around, non judgmental individuals. Avoid gossiping, or speaking negative about others. In the past I've seen several people who use a "false confidence ". Basically attempting to speak derogatory about, or making fun of others to make themselves feel better or to make themselves appear confident around others.

Posted by: 1245 on 2007-05-15, 11:03:03

From what you are writing it seems that if you really want to start feeling better you would greatly benefit from getting professional help. Avoid counselors or advisers, go to a certified psychologist or psychoanalyst. If you think it is too expensive think of it this way: after seeking help you'll have less money in your pocket but because you will end up feeling better you will stop spending on stuff that you used to spend to feel better. Plus, your life will be more enjoyable.

Posted by: dkappa95 on 2007-05-15, 12:02:56

Try self help books and self confidence courses. Tony Robins, Dale Carnegie, Brian Tracy, Zig Zigler. They usual come in audio too if you don't like reading.

Posted by: i have all the answers on 2007-05-15, 14:23:14

Dont put yourself down. when people give you compliments, dont say something negative back, actually bevieve the compliment and remeber to say thanks!

Posted by: 1can2 on 2007-05-15, 17:57:54

1 The LORD is my light and my salvation— whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life— of whom shall I be afraid? 2 When evil men advance against me to devour my flesh, [a] when my enemies and my foes attack me, they will stumble and fall. 3 Though an army besiege me, my heart will not fear; though war break out against me, even then will I be confident. 4 One thing I ask of the LORD, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to seek him in his temple. 5 For in the day of trouble he will keep me safe in his dwelling; he will hide me in the shelter of his tabernacle and set me high upon a rock. 6 Then my head will be exalted above the enemies who surround me; at his tabernacle will I sacrifice with shouts of joy; I will sing and make music to the LORD. 7 Hear my voice when I call, O LORD; be merciful to me and answer me. 8 My heart says of you, "Seek his [b] face! " Your face, LORD, I will seek. 9 Do not hide your face from me, do not turn your servant away in anger; you have been my helper. Do not reject me or forsake me, O God my Savior. 10 Though my father and mother forsake me, the LORD will receive me. 11 Teach me your way, O LORD; lead me in a straight path because of my oppressors. 12 Do not turn me over to the desire of my foes, for false witnesses rise up against me, breathing out violence. 13 I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living. 14 Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD. Pray that God will put some good bible beliving people in your life, that will help you know the true meaning of your life

Posted by: mons on 2007-05-15, 18:11:30

Start a relationship... there must be one person in this world who can see how great you are... a sexual relationship would be great, feeling desirable and sexy is definately an ego boost, but a platonic one can be equally fulfilling. i too have struggled with my self esteem, it takes constant work, but eventually you will realise that you truly are a wonderful person and it doesnt matter what the world thinks only what you think. if you can forgive your own mistakes and pat yourself on the back once in a while, you will be fine. Dont beat up yourself cause you cant/ didnt do something... you are human, not superhuman and you cannot do it all or be it all. You know your strengths and your limitations, you know better than anyone, you cannot be your own worst enemy... you must be your own cheerleading team! when you think negatively erase that thought as quickly as it comes. Exercise also helps, you feel stronger and have better posture and carry yourself better because of it, this projects an image of confidence and people will believe it and eventually so will you. Lastly, take a calcium magnesium supplement! It may sound like weird advice but u be will surprised how this combined with b vitamins can balance your hormones, make you less sensitive to emotional stimuli. Dont give up on life, save your money and visit the most beautiful place your budget will allow (I suggest Barbados :) ). You will see there is so much to live for... life is a struggle sometimes, but it is also a gift and you deserve it! Overcoming difficult times makes you stronger. Also find a song that makes you feel good about yourself, like " I'm beautiful dammit! " "Love me or hate me, " lady soverign, "bossy " by kellis, something with attitude the says i'm the shizit and i know it, listen to it daily... you will believe it! do not listen to anything sad or depressing, only upbeat stuff!