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Question: Has anyone here who recovered from depression and suicidal thoughts have this mindset?

(Posted by: Bazzer239 on 2010-03-02 15:26:40)

I'm 100 % back to normality but for some reason I keep going over it in my mind and even though life is good and a complete contrast to where I was last year I always have that thought... ...the thought that if I did commit suicide I wouldn't have regretted it simply b/ c it hurt sooo much and the memories are really painful. Does anyone else have these? I try not to dwell on it and it doesn't affect me I do think about it A LOT, not in a 'Im gonna take my life if it returns knowing the future' but a 'Whoa, I don't know how I'm alive - that was horrible'

Posted by: Em on 2010-03-02, 15:33:25

I think this is normal. How could someone survive through something like that and not think "holy crap "? I suggest you write these thoughts in a journal or something, just to keep track of them. Also, keep track of the positive things that have happened since. Count your blessings, and take a deep breath just to keep yourself sane when things get over whelming.

Posted by: Lilith on 2010-03-02, 15:32:53

This is "suicidal ideation ". You have trained yourself to constantly think of suicide. It can be undone but it takes work and you have to be really willing to give it up.

Posted by: peacelove on 2010-03-02, 15:55:02

You can pray about your life. Prayer can change you and help you feel better. Know that God can help you live a better life if you want Him to help you. You can have a personal relationship with God by saying the prayer below. God is our Creator, all-knowing, all-powerful, eternal, holy, love. God loves us and sent us His Son, Jesus Christ, so we can go to heaven if we know and follow Him. Forever means without end -- time on and on without death. Forever is what happens after we die. Either we go to heaven and be with God forever, or we go to hell which is very bad and painful forever. The good people who are saved believers in Jesus Christ go to heaven. The bad people go to hell. We need to know and follow God in this world to get to heaven in the next world. We follow God by loving and obeying Him and loving others for Him. Jesus Christ, God's Son, is our bridge to God. Jesus died on the cross to cancel our sins. We need to accept Jesus into our life as our Lord and Savior forever to receive God's blessing and forgiveness plus go to heaven to be with God forever after we die. This is about being a born-again Christian. Faith in God is a gift from God. You can pray for faith in God. Just speak out and ask God for the faith to believe in Him and to follow Him. Some people find faith in God when they realize the beauty in the world is made by God. Evolution can't explain the world's natural beauty, for example, the parks in the world, animals, flowers, peacocks, sunsets, butterflies, rainbows, etc. After you have your faith on, you can pray a sinner's prayer to be a born-again Christian. This prayer is very important and should be said with a sincere heart and faith in God. This is the prayer: "Dear God, I know that I am a sinner and that Jesus Christ is the sacrifice for our sins. I have done the following sins (state these out) and I pray to discontinue these sins. I pray to receive Jesus Christ into my life as my Lord and Savior forever. In Jesus' name, amen. " I'm Lutheran and I like the Baptist churches too. You could check out a Christian church and also see about their weekly Bible study group as a good way to learn about God's will for your life. You can pray to God about your daily life and have a Christian church pray for you.